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About Mushy (Now With FAQ)
Mushy's Movie Page (1)
Mushy's Movie Page (2)
Mushy's Movie Page (3)
The Many Faces Of Mushy
The Mushroom Stress Reliever
Poetry From The Mushroom Farm
Things To Fiddle With
Laugh With Mushy
The Mushy Poll
Flash Traing Movies
Mushy's Guest Book
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AN ODE TO MY SETTLERS
My settlers hate the sight of me
They just want me to set them free
I make them work all the day long
And then everything starts to go wrong
The baker despairs, and me he could kill
Cos I forgot to build the sodding mill
If he catches me then he will slaughter
I didn’t know the bread needed water
The fisherman won’t work and bring home the cod
Because I refused to make him a rod
He is threatening to throw me into the sea
A drowned mushroom then I will definitely be
The miners are hiding away in the mine
I wrote them a contract, but they won’t sign
So there’s no more iron, gold or coal
I suppose they’ll leave and go on the dole
I thought the woodcutter was my friend
But he’s just like the others, he can’t pretend
It didn’t help that I ran out of trees
He’s searching for a forrester on his knees
And the sawmill is at an all time slow
I should have known it needed logs to go
The sawman left anyway, life was a bore
When suddenly the trees became no more
My settlers have now all gone on strike
Life with me they just don’t like
I’m joining the Dark Tribe – I like them more
Then my Settlers and I shall go to war
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IF I WERE NOT A MUSHROOM
(Dedicated to my friend Dan)
If I were not a mushroom,
The things that I would do,
I could have a proper bath,
And use a normal loo.
No more standing in a field,
I'd have a proper bed.
And when the Gardeners came to call,
I'd scare them instead.
My typing would improve,
I'd have fingers as I should.
And if I didn't have a stalk,
Well life would be so good.
Why was I born a mushroom,
A turnip would have done,
Even the carrots and the beans
Seem to have more fun.
As I shiver in my field,
Sharing my tale of woe,
Even the onions pity me,
I'd like a nose to blow.
Noone loves a mushroom,
I know it in my head,
If I were a lettuce,
I'd be hugged instead.
I'll never have my normal bath,
And my loo is not to be.
The Gardeners will always be scary,
And their shovels frighten me.
I suppose I just have to be brave,
And face harsh reality,
A mushroom I already am,
And a mushroom I'll always be.
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MUSHROOM OMLETTE
Eek ! the mushroom cried in fear,
Don't throw me in the pan,
I'd rather not become
Dinner for some man.
Oh ! the mushroom screamed in pain
Please put the knife away,
Don't slice me up and throw me in,
It's really not my day.
Waahhh ! the mushroom wailed in grief,
I felt you throw me in,
Now I've got to meet the eggs,
I guess I just can't win.
So ! the mushroom spat in spite,
I see you got your way
Now I'm scrambled with the eggs
There's not much more to say.
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